Heavenly

The crystal clear night speaks out loud the birds’ chirp and the wild lives howl. I stand here with more joy than terror The moon smiles and everything seems lighter. I no longer have urge to move move back to the life I used to. No face has a charm unlike here, The moon smiles and everything seems clear. under this sky, thousands of nights, much less than a second of joy. there, at the hell i had to be. Heavenly, the moon smiles at me..

Explaining the unexplainable

Something that's inexpressable,

A love of that kind.

Emotions that flow there

like a paper toy in an intense wind.

Oh, a blessing it is,

honest as a speech of naive.

Absent anticipation, filled with esteem.

Been craving desire for centuries.

A love thats crystal pure,

true like a shedule of sun.

Glorifying every second, the morning and the dawn.

Away in the horizon but shows up  in the morn.

Fantasy it is, like the fairy tale stories.

Melodious, like the words in lullabies

This is what a love is, thats unconditional 

Having no measure, neither a compare nor its relatable.

Queries to the fallen star

I conceded myself into your soul.
Not a sole question I arose.
Dejected anticipations,
jumbled thoughts,
and a heart full of doubts.
Yet I caught my breath, 
appeased myself for no reason. 

I wondered why? Out of all the stars I had,
and I knew, the whole sky and the land was mine
but I fell upon the star that fell.
A falling star, shedding all my dreams away.

I wondered why? Within your premises, 
I knew, I could be the ball of fire
but like the planets around the sun,
dolefully, I kept moving around.

I don’t wonder, clinging onto those ‘why’s.
But I do wonder, what made you be the sun?
While you could have been the star that twinkles
why did you have to fall? 
Into the land that owns no fantasy at all.

I keep falsely consoling myself.
You weren’t that star.
You are clouded and you will shine again.
I hate to regain my hope sometimes
willing to get answers that belong to me.
It wasn’t you, I realize. But the answers,
they are still mine.

Heavenly mess and the promises

I can see the bright color of my ceiling being faded,
it's being harder for me to focus my eyes.
I can feel my hand trembling and its carrying something.
Something just dropped aside, hit the ground i can barely hear it.

I force my feeble hand to sense my wrist that feels so numb.
Oh! I realize,
i made a mess again, another attempt to be no more.

The trial cut that i no longer remember, was it really me?
The blood is oozing out like it did before and a feeling so hard strikes me once more.
The same feeling with a rolling tears and a heart so heavy,
A promise to myself not repeating these mistakes
It's been way too many.

It's been a habit, the mess and the promises.
I don't know what guides me nor i know what kills me inside.
I have always wanted to live when i am aware,
but the impulse that drives me
That kills me from the outside.
Maybe it wants to see me balanced.
Balanced from both the ends.

This mess and the promises make me feel so high,
So good that i always want to stay alike.
I neither need drugs nor i need liquors.
This insane state and the numbness after the mess circulates within my vessels.

Nothing can beat this heavenly feeling, that goes through my nerves.
And not a thing stops me from laying here, everyday like a corpse.