The breathe - Living ⚡

 Seeking the worth, time flies high 
As if a loop, I fall back to where was I 

A process it is, Am I expecting an exempt ?
with birth I rose and I seem to glow with perfection
while every breathe is a countdown, ceasing the life i know,
the end of who I believe I am, as I grow

Where am I failing ? I find my body, my worth
While It's a warning, I breath every second, nearing my end 
And I fail to see, its just bones and muscles, they just pretend

I fail to realize my worth, what's in here that the breathe feed?
The true has never been the truth, and nor it will be
I feed the chaos, I feed the greed,
With every breathe I take, its just the future I live.

While breathe is the moment and it can just feed the present
I still am seeking the worth as time flies,
may be, I have never taken a breathe, I've never lived a life

Life is a presence as the breathe is , 
the thoughts, this haze, all that the future creates 
It was never me, it was never my body 
I am failing, as living in future is never meant to be

I live now, I breathe for now,
the worth is to merge with presence
Its a loop. I realize.
I have never felt tomorrow's essence.
The trap , the clouds, the wave that it seem,
may be this is why, future is a dream

The Silence, answering everything
Stillness, making it worth the living, 
Its today, its the presence, the breeze that I inhale,
the long breathe that fills every corner and every edges
That's my eternal who I realize i am feeding,
That's my creation who I am constantly seeking
That's the moment when I am actually living.

 

 

Answers never change! 💫

As tall as these peaks shine 

Memories vivid in head, fighting to align

Who's on top, who's next

stacked pages, amazingly they wind

Still naive, still in cave

Zeal, painted with fire, still the same

What's out there? questions remain

No worth exploring, answers never change

The sun, lantern, candle or a bulb?

Probably the bright that mountains speak

I hold onto it. Or am i the mountain?

Does it matter? Question remain

No worth exploring, answers never change!

Sprinkled rose🌹

The smell of damp in your rosy air

As if, rain on dried mats of grassy hair

Love me as I love to watch myself soak

I've always been a water drop to sprinkled rose

Mind is all flowers- Alzheimer's Awareness

 

Mirror reflected her soul this morning
wrinkled eye edges flashed as she grinned
an affirmation uttered, as old as herself
Yet, Purity within the fleshes shines bright
the silvery flakes on her head, glares
as if a morning sun on snowcapped mountains

Nurtured relations, woven with colorful yarns
shouldered responsibilities, planted with utmost care
it’s all bare, empty as her thoughts, sluggish as her desire
Yet, sometimes, old reminiscences cover entire nerves
flickering like worn out candle in a drizzling day
Framework swollen with melted wax
and the wick, its core, awaiting the collapse.

Lost ease , world as if a new place to live
muscle misleads, It’s her own yet her enemies
She belongs, not in solitude but within dependence
defined by colorful heart, not the flaws- grimy mind creates
driven by compassion entire life, Still shining, head high
Mirror reflected her soul this morning
walking through the trail of flashbacks
Her smile pointing gardens in her eyes, mind is all flowers
Wrinkled face- like a leaves in a bouquet, adding beauty
Mirror reflected her soul this morning.
Mirror made up of her memories.

In search of the key!

Apparent it is- the eternity,

Yet ripping through a moment that just flashes by 

Futile attempts of holding on 

Gripping the moments by their neck 

Like a handful of sand that gets lost, 

The more you try keeping it, the more it falls 

What do you do that for ? 

Apparent it is- the invincible, 

 It’s there for egress, all aware you are 

All the fear screaming inside the encumbered head,

 Insecurities painted, densely in bright red

The conscious trapped, walls of metal noising  

Colors of emotions, cluttered – fiercely standing 

Breathing the pure – yet, frail to cleanse your mind 

Do you feel your core shatter? 

Apparent it is, the impermanent,

Yet the yellows leave and the blues stay

Are you still unaware?

Why do the yellows leave and blues stay? 

My head screams, amid the chaos and hinder

The sound of void - rings as divine in cosmos

All over my body, the warmth and a tranquil 

Each cell entangled with the voice of nature

 Flashing memories of the moments -eternal 

I hear myself repeat the question again

 In the dead silence, I ask myself- 

I answer myself--

“The key to the wall of consciousness is not yellow- it’s grey”

Why do the yellows leave and blues stay? 

The key to consciousness is grey.

I am left ashamed

I am afraid this is real.

a splash of cold, yet it's still here

My clock is infront and i fix the time 

all set to go, i am ready to shine

Through the stars,i see it drop down

Then, through my window, all aware i am

this had never happened before

In disbelief i take my sword and move to the shore 

Neither did the stars shined up bright

nor brought this into my eyes,

Gloomy nights devastated me, enough to shatter 

I see it fixing as all the confidence in me, i gather

carpet of clouds, i am sleeping upon- drift

As i approach, i grab the moon and gently kiss

Ocean appraching to meet their little ones

i see in a reflection , the tears, yet the warmth

the struggle and the hope running along the waves

the same one that i lamented, i objected 

And, i was left ashamed

 

 

Next meeting!

Within every beats of a song

Every single moment when we felt we belonged

Been missing like how day misses the night

Two parallel lines, hoping to meet,

One day, they might.

Within the darkest times of hour

Every single moment when we fought to overpower

Been missing like how wildfire misses the heavy wind 

Expecting a blow, Two big thunders, hoping to meet,

One day, they might.

 

Within the silence of the nights 

Every small talks when we first met , running in my mind 

Been missing like how a cheetah misses the sky

Running to get there, hoping to meet 

One day it might.

 

 

 

In loving memory of "Baa"

 Baa,

 a smile so powerful that enlightened the face of many

the charm and the words of reflection, still dazzling me.

Naïve I was, miniscule of memories

Yet it flows, heaving my heart with grieving melodies.

 

The storm, neither the dark shook us,

As you stood tall, the roots we held it, robust

It was all green and colors, the winters and summers

Hands on hands, the empire you built looked upon.

 

Like a wave running back to the sea,

As how, every little breathe has to be

Years fleeting . But Voices still crack and eyes still wet

A hollow in our heart, never to be filled .

 

Echoes fade and poor memories trying to recollect

Towards the end, A stab rewinding again and again.

Apology and remorse , reflecting in my dreams

Desiring a glimpse of you, the forever unseen

 

At your usual bliss, with my thoughts, you are never alone

Long sigh, you are here, I see. Yet, you are long gone!!

You are here, Yet, you are long gone.

 

 

 

A battle but among whom ?

 

 

Moving the pieces, trying to fit the places,

 Twists and turns, depth and the burdens

Erupting from the roots of divine,

 gods and goddess of emotions,

 holding the shields from behind.

 

It's a way of battle, in search of peace and heavens

 Though freed like a bird, wrapped in a bubbles and the games

Echoes inside the head. Sun, as if it’s never meant to set.

It goes on and on and on. Miracles in the air, waiting to abate.

 

Silence of the nature, threatening the clashes inside.

Waves of thoughts maunders to overpower its beginning.

Has it ended? the senses receiving the question, 

Aware, my conscious steps back, dilemmatic with poor hunches.

 

 

 

Seeing through yourself!

Into the woods lies your soul

Into the sound of serene, your heart keeps a hold.

Say no! to the life you are rushing

And there, right there!!!

 you have years of your peace dying to unfold.

Into the broken past, lies your worth

Into the harsh reality, your mind keeps a hold

say no! to the "would have's " you are fore sighting

And there, right there!!!

you have years of your perseverance dying to unfold.

Into the mirror of life lies your goal

Into the clarity of your image, your body keeps a hold

say no! to the trashes you are building to board

And there, right there!!

You have years of your destined journey dying to unfold.

7 years down

As the morning alarm, my soul rings

Brightening petals of these beauty,

 the yellows and the greens

 Certainly the best i ever came across,

Pretty, i can never unsee

Reminder of the smile, so tender

How i envy the wind, playing with her hair

 and those hands running behind the ear

I try unfolding the memoir,

 With the fingers crossed, and a hope so strong,

I stand amidst the aisle AGAIN!!!!

No, not a failure this time

I sigh!! 

A sigh of relief in the years long gone

Bald headed, snow beard

 torn pages and heart ripped off

All withered i see

But the petals..

The yellows and the greens

Smile 

Enlighten my soul as i am nineteen

7 years down.. 

Today, i stand here feeling nineteen

Realization hits

I didn't have to rush..

Never letting my peace win

Never calming the fire in me

My deathbed shouts at me

I lift my hand, i do it slow

I do it slow because i am not allowed anymore...

Drops on my cheek competing to fall down

Yet, i lift my hand slow

Because, i am not able to rush anymore.

And i feel it again and again and again

I didn't have to rush

Never having the taste of serene

Never having the guts to feel a thing

I didn't have to rush

Never learning what settling means

Never pausing when i was just fast forwarding..

Nothingness

I want to be in the silence

In the nothingness

Where I don’t even hear my echoes

Nor the sound of my own breathe.

Take me to that open field

Where I don’t listen to the bird’s chirp

Nor the air blowing into my ears.

I want to be in “the peace”

In the cosmos

Where tranquility meets my soul

And my eyes blinded with the purity of heaven

As I see enough of all these colors

This chaos, dancing so loud, tearing the fleshes of my sanity.

Take me to the land of moon

Where all the bubbles of wickedness break

As if, the universe is dead

And, every single being on this planet

The flowers and the trees, the birds and the bees

The lands and the gravity

All the living and the dead

The insight and the awareness

Are walking in funeral procession. 

And, I be in that dead silence

Mourning the death of universe

With all my sanity, hoovering

And, I am aware of this nothingness

The feel of my heart not beating

And the lungs, not longing for breathe

I stand in nothingness feeling alive all by myself

I want to be in that silence

Take me to the land of Peace.

mindful of thoughts

 Thoughts within me

beating every cells of my brain 

like a bunch of horses

running off beat

trying to overpower myself,

with blossoms full of color

is this how is life supposed to be?

i ask myself..

and right then, i spot a weird looking plant 

eyeing me completely 

with a throne arising from petal itself

happiness is not a myth

i remind myself again..

throwing away the thorny petal

to my surprise,

 underneath the pile laid all those creatures

crawling and creeping,

wandering like the thoughts within my head

i am an overthinker 

i think again

i should let my thoughts go..

i think again

i then want to let it go, one by one

slowly,

yet at once

do they deserve to be here?

i question myself

my brain, yells out too

noooo....

right then, i start

i start it, i shoot at one of those wanderers 

and, all i can remember is just , letting one of  it go

rest of them , they still hover here

i think again

i am willing to shoot at others too,

my bad, i cant lift my hands anymore,

i see myself ,

lying on the floor 

with the thought i just shot...

it laid beside my head, 

covered in bright red petals

 that i showered myself with. 

i could see it freezing after a while 

letting it cover with all the creeps

a day passed by 

my hands are cold

a long sigh...

the wanderers left my brain 

a day passed by,

i can see them dance

dance in a group

carrying a body, all covered

 i cant recognize 

i think again..

with all my ears to listen to the gallops of horses..

aren't these my thoughts ? 

 running again ?

Grasp

Starting with nothing, no armor , no sustenance 

Just the conscious pushing the subconscious

All that was to be known, was learning how not to stop. 

The cries and the howl , pulling to lose the secure 

In search of every bit of sunshine left within

Just so everything could be put together..

Stars that shine upon, it was all the smiles

Dark, swallowing it , hoping none of it belonged. 

Aware, having all the mementos  hidden 

The world never fitted in that soul, nor it ever wished it to be.

So the start began again, 

But neither the armor nor sustenance gained 

This time, it was known how not to stop.

No air has a bad melody

Nor the black clouds can obscure the stars actually ..

The world never had to belong to soul…

Grasping it, the world never had to belong to the soul. 

Grasping it again, the self-love should overpower its life

The soul will begin to cross the locked doors

While seeing the moonlights in darkest of hours

And the rainbows will show up amidst the deadly falls .. 

No thunder is going to scare , 

As the lightening itself will walk the soul to its home…

YOU

 A sight that captures my entity

you are the happiness that drives me there

 As i stand in the shore i had longed To be..

you are the waves frequently hitting my toe 

Making me feel my Presence,

That right moment,

You are the charm that brightens my eyes.

Making me Sense the beauty of being happily alive...

As i breathe in deep,

proudly standing amidst the greenery 

You are the air that goes into my cell,

turbulent yet steady as it comes to me.

Thousands of miles as i walk through, 

the aches and sore, distressing my foot

You are the sun that warms my soul, 

melting all the pains, icing in stitches.

To all my hungers and craves, 

you are the toppings that gives me chill

Full moon to the darkest of my nights, 

you stand right there,

Making me Sense the beauty of being happily alive...

Voyage

 

Foot on a stormy road, path unsure

All she sees is bed of petals piled up

like a stack of bricks, lined up

thrones she foresees yet in memory of her serenity, she heads.

A soul of a sword,

fully aware of its chore

Standing in between the warriors

Fails and rises again,

Blades still being the same,

sharp enough to war against..

Years of her memoir, safely kept 

double keyed the door,

A promise to not look back, neither beyond.

She continues, with memorandum 

Her tomorrow follows.

world's color

“He’s the black that goes with every color”

Said his mom who didn’t seem pleased.

All the reds within her has boiled,

 as if she’s engulfed the ball of fire.

Bold and keen enough to foresee.

As every corner has darkened, supposedly inked.

 

Disguises and camouflages, obscuring the blues  

All that shows up are the frail and withered truths.

While all the carbon coated breathes get in  

Thirsty soul longs for the greens and the pinks.

 

“I dreamt  him swimming in a pool of watercolors”

Said his mom looking at the sky, white and blue.

gratified in her yellow sari, holding the moon.

plucking all the browns within the greens she witnesses,

she laments over her child, eating up all the roots.

Faded world, drowning in emotional hues

Roaring in vain, she emerges,

Desperately, in an attempt to tint,

As every corner has darkened , supposedly inked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chaos

I can feel this air, Air of melancholy 

Passing by, Piercing my soul.

The soul that was trying to sprinkle some colors to that dark.

Amid this chaos, i stay still.

Uncertain is this life, i happen to gather some bliss.

I can feel this transparency,

Vivid as the water flowing straight out of nature.

Capturing this instance

I conversate, with myself at my best

And i prepare doing so,

I conversate, with myself at my worse too...

The whites..

Oh, the whites, they smiled, 

From the peak of the world,

Shining more than the brightest star i ever saw 

As i approached, 

the closer, the better they got

Almost taking my breathe 

Overwhelmed, i gazed..

the whites,

Being more broader, more brighter..

I realized, my eyes closed,

as i was taking the breath in..

the one it almost took away, 

i needed that to keep it in.. 

Soulful glance at graces 

Overflowing the baskets of memories.

I filled it all with care, 

one after the other.. 

the tear drop then hit my hand

turning slowly into the shiny pearl

I smiled back

it was still standing,

White turning yellow 

and sun gilded everything

including my pearl that i was still holding.. 

Oh, my bad,

it wasn't meant for me to keep

I could neither throw nor hold onto it

Hasty attempt of basket-ing

failed, i am still holding 

wishing it to keep it forever

I am still holding....