Mother awaits her son

she hasn’t seen him for long , she, the mother of the only son

her patience awaited till today, in a hope her child returns

unable to withstand lately, her motherhood shouts out loud

“god, it hasn’t been fair to me, he needs to be my cradle now”

the heart of the pathetic  mother stands in a grief 

now, her faith has disguised , she hasn’t seem to believe

though from a death bed, watching the sun as it sets,

she hasn’t stopped praying “almighty, bring my son back to me today”

she knows how she’s been treated, she knows how it feels

nevertheless, tends to live more, even that counts living  as a mentally ill

god had taken her child when she could fight back her emotions

and now she asks god to gift her back, coz she is no more able

she knows she can have him again

she dreams of hearing her son walk up to her,

she dreams of him throwing a heavenly smile 

she believes she can see him before her death just for a while

the world understands not, laughs on her nonsense.

Yet she waits for a miracle before her death

She longs to see her child once, while she is awake

Cruel almighty doesn’t seem to hear the mother’s soul

Only if she could overcome her grief, 

and the truth, she could accept it as the whole.. 

You are my valentine

Whole of the memories that thumps in the wall of my heart

That generates pictures of our togetherness

Since the very first day when you came over, 

Till today, on this auspicious day of our love

Feeling of emergence of joy when you crossed my way 

Do you remember love? 

The only happiness was smiling at each other,

That would make our several days

Roses showered over me every time our senses encountered 

Even the moments we couldn’t express were beautiful

That still gives me butterfly, each time I remember

Pleasant surprises you gave by suddenly showing up 

Those every little things that mattered was way too enough

To grow this feeling in both of us, bringing us where we are today

Do you remember love?

The first time you uttered love to me 

And that is the sweetest thing that you ever said

Day by day as every feeling is getting sharper  

Whole of me want you to my worst as well as my best  

My eternal love overpowering my heart,

Senses a delight to call you mine 

Let me shout out loud today

“You are my valentine”

“You are my valentine”

overcoming myself

I don’t know where shall I start

My esteemed heart has been out of path

In the celebration of freedom, 

I have gone insane out of complete glee

For I have conquered myself from the lattice thoughts

That weariness through which I went

Those creepy flashes, I tried harder to avoid.

I am a queen, red carpet awaits me 

Welcoming my grace, adoring my beauty

My triumph runs through every footstep that I take

All my ruthless memories turning their faces away

Here I come, with a pride within me 

My joy overtakes my every little sufferings 

I don’t pursue them; they are no more in me,  

Not my ambiances, not my priorities

Shall I give a glance to where I was? 

From between a crowd of my delight, a question wanders

It’s none other but the same heart that suffered 

What if I glance and quickly get back?

I know this happened a lot of times when I could get over

A determination in me gathers all my delights 

Overturning the thought right then, and then I proceed

This time its forever

No more looking back

No more vibes 

No further sentiments

Towards only there, where it feels right

Where I get covered with delights

And this time its forever

The determination, the victory

My love for self and the Certainties.

Help me hear my soul

Goodbye to all the gracious memories,

That led me to be here, to be on my own again.

Not to satisfy myself but in order to seek love,

To learn how to love and console myself again.

To wash out all my injuries,

All my memories that haunt me till today.

To erode the moment from my life that took all of me from myself,

my joy, my happiness, my smile and my self being

In fact, my body along with my soul and my belief

All the happiness has faded away and guilt covers my whole

Guilt, not for what I did but for what I was forced

Guilt, not for being who I have become today,

But, for losing my innocence.

Guilt, not for being unable to fight

but for being born as a weak, craving  for support

to even stand on my own

Lately happiness has been scaring me,

Feeling of joy is terrifying me

I fear of dark, I fear of day,

I fear each and every seconds when I am aware.

Tears help me wash out my memories;

The efforts I make to shout out loud help me be aware of me

I go insane looking at the lacerations,

The bruises and the scratches, I see

They might heal in long run

 But it has left as a permanent scar within me

Hopes bring out the fear to my inner self

I might be the victim once again

I do hope. It’s not the one that tries bringing old me back

But just to take away the abhorrence I have for my body,

Though I am alive, I don’t really exist within me

I can make my heart understand,

But soul hardly hears me..

My addiction to dark

I am addicted to dark, no light is a fantasy
Past haunts me even more than the night ghosts who scared me
And my heart shouts aloud in pain
I don't know if its pain,
that particular feeling that has always remained
Just Like a crash when you step on a dry leaves
Just that it doesn't make a sound
Heart has been so kind to me,
It gets off and on yet beats without any flaws
I get into pieces every time i happen to review my life
That pieces i know they are the one that glisten on my eyes
Letting them fall will throw my pieces away
Later how do I collect them?  How do I unite? To be stable again
I don't wanna feel them,i wish i could ignore every emotions that i get through
Then its like how i see the first star of a night
I see none when i look up first
And i come to see one
Then, i don't see others,
They themselves make them fall on my eyes one after another
How i wish to throw all memories just how dawn disappears
But as soon as joy hits me, night starts to scare
This is why i m addicted to dark,
no joy, no sense of scary night
So, when past haunts me,
i am more comfortable than the joy that hits me hard