i hate this rain..

when i am not only me
but the lonesome one
and the time grace waves me bye
too far it has gone..
rain falls on my as if i am teased
and then i step back, turn around
trying to shun how i feel

it is the reason why,
why i hate this rain
i dislike it for not what it is
but for how it makes me feel
wouldn't have hated if could make me smile
it tries wiping my laughter rather than tears in my eyes

i don't feel to cry
don't want to empty my feel of bliss
but this rain gives me company as if i am teased
to let my eye drops fall along with its


it is the reason why,
why i hate this rain
i dislike it for not what it is
but for how it makes me feel
         
after i did what i was supposed to
along with its, i shed mine too
but i got betrayed , it cheated me
everything looked so fine,
twinkling more than before i saw
but within me, darkness relied
still solitary covers my soul
still solitary covers my soul


it is the reason why,
why i hate this rain
i dislike it for not what it is
but for how it makes me feel
         

memory, a solace..

i keep on searching a sole reason
 for happiness played hide and seek with me
why i was undeserved
to myself i am tired of asking !
but no one replies, nothing in me it says
my heart my soul, has stopped taking to me, taking to myself..

but i know, there were some days
someday it was flourished
i then had my eyes full of glories
i could see my lips stretched those days
i could feel my beats harder those days
and my eyes glistened with shyness whenever i had a look
and a bliss in me, as if i was out of this place,
out of this whole world
and me, the amazing one..
yes, the strange feelings i bore
the feelings of love
and to strange world i went
the world of love

but memories have been just a solace now
your absence darkens me, solitude my soul
counting those stars at sky pale blue
i can feel it equal to the pains i am going through

was it because i shouldn't have waved my thoughts
or is it coz, i shouldn't have dreamt at all
really its hard enough to see my desires departing away
to watch them vanishing right from my way
i am totally devastated , i here die each and every second
but the feel of your presence within me
lazes me again and again
makes me alive still,
the keen reason i be here
your memories and my feelings makes my existence fresh forever !!

have you been the one ?

when i want to know your name
i don't just want a word of it
but the meaning behind
so i would know a fellow
the world has been facing

i want to go behind, to go aside
for my curiosity decreasing its pile
have you been the one world has wished for?
its long journey, you are supposed to pick out the prickles
is it you the one who is in search ?
the real one world need so a color can be filled up
have you been the one world has wished for?
its flow may go back, you are thought to speed it up
the real one world needs so it may not face a burn
it may take a wrong turn,
you are supposed to stand there giving a correct direction
a meaning for your existence
not just a body and soul to cooperate
it has been together for you to warm up
the day its over, soul gets a wing and body a whitish moment

so when i wish to know who you are
i don't just want a profession you have chosen
but the meaning why you have been doing
so i would know a fellow
the world has been facing ..

you are not mine..

through life as i went
passing all struggle and bliss
a lot i saw and a lot they tried to please.
life flew till no one worthy i saw
i found none to whom i could give my all
Dreams as shower started to fall
felt her every nights and wished to be my girl
to sky i flew and stars got to day shine
every time i prayed god to make her mine
but...
but her feeling couldn't stop my eyes
glistening tears rolled down
her face her voice, everywhere i found
i lost her , i was finished thought for a while
life came back when i heard her with a sweet smile
her proposal for friendship i couldn't deny
but still i feel for her, this truth i can never lie..
the special one who often will be my dearer
i promise to remain behind her with proper care
please forgive me for the love i showed
will ever remain beside coz getting her is my hope
heart says to spend whole life seeing her
mind feels another have to be far
feelings i feel for her .. i am unable to define
still tears flow off when i feel she is not mine..
still tears flow off when i feel she is not mine..

last moment struggle..

a firmer dream i carried when life taught me what it is
that was the time it honored my soul with the wings
heaps of laughter and satisfaction i went through
until i realized life was hazing me, to my insatiable needs..
it was my insanity for i delayed to visualize
poor me i knew not, i was cheated in front of my eyes

flabby arguments for what life insisted me
never turning what i deserved to what i genuinely wanted  to be..

i asked life a bed full of roses
it granted me along with the thrones
i wanted to pick out all one by one
left my hands in pain,the scars and the wound

snatched my wings, i tried hard to keep it safe
scratches and marks still i can feel it the same
with an effete body i forged the same dream
hollow inside i crawled on willing everything to end

i was delirious with joy till the fact was obscure
lately a realization being struck ed , not only me but the matter of the world
scrambles the breathe each second as a scrap
if trying to take away liveliness is something life has to
then for the sake of my dreams, a last moment struggle is what i am meant to...

And a lot wishes to make..

Each day I begin with a pray
To decorate my days
I wish I could be there
where I wanted to be always
There at the horizon you can see my destiny
I want it want to grab
The treasures to kiss
But to wait is what I have learnt
Hope is through what I have gone!!
I count the days,the days to pass more
But I kno,
Still a lot days to begin
Alot days to pray
Alot stars to fall ahead
And,and a lot wishes to make!!
When will the time come taking me to my summit
From then, I need no more hopes to carry
No more agonies to go through
Then the graceful me, fearing with my end
But alas! I will see myself again
Wondering on what I was trying to
And what I am given
with a dream by my Side i get some sleeps.
And on next day,with the same hope I begin.
Yes, this is how I be.
This is what life for me is.
I call it heaven where I wait to make my wait over.......
The lessons that life taught me.
The lessons that I learnt till.
The time will be mine
Yes,I have hope
Coz,I know
Still Alot days to begin.
Alot days to pray
Alot stars to fall ahead
And a lot wishes to make!!

a new ray,a new day, a new year, a new fear,a new feel and a new start.. it was jan 1,2011

i could see those drops escaping by seepage

around those weeds that laid on cold

a surreal feel inside me, the lips getting curve

with no special reason, i warbled within the heart !

i saw me being enlightened touched by the warmth of welcome

i then realized i was trying hard, harder to make my dreams shun

i have packed up with clusters of hope and wish

leaving all the worse nothing i am carrying with

i am here standing, waving bye to these days

i am heading on,heading on

beholding the lights with colored rays !!

i cant hold on with the same ways anymore

freakish to even memorize

blurry thoughts cover my soul

tears wet up my eyes

a massive wave against me

that was hard to confront

yet i have faith in me,that silently whispers

making knock on my door

trying to boost me up!

frequently helding my head high it says.. "you are destined "

"yes, i do" i reply with in me, hoping to conquer the waves against me !

being beaten by that heavy rain,

those pains i bear

i never knew gaining support was that hard

the more near i came, much farther the shelter did

i have no worries coz that was what my fate carried

but now,

to feel the gentle shower of success,

i am forgetting the rain

the wounds that it made

the scratches that is still in pain

the one that blew me apart

wetted my soul even wetted my heart !!

so here i start preparing for the new

voices inside me, the rhythm and the blues

i am here standing, waving bye to these days

i am heading on,i am heading on

beholding the lights with colored rays !!!

my longing..

 Unconscious massive voice frequently hitting my head
For the reasons they were yet unknown...
I could clearly hear the whack of my heart
Still in silence I coated some grace around...
Gloomy soul that could never desire on it's own
Was guided by life somewhere to the misery path...
Unknown even of where it would lead
Back to darkness or destiny ahead...
Ship of my delight that sunk a long Ago
Infront of my eyes while I laid on beach...
Limiting within my lips fake joy I had to agree with
N that too frequently staying out of reach...
Fate seeming smacked with sad and sentiments
How cold here be jazz at heart??
Me the soloist at the end of the play after the crew take off and indivisuals apart...
Relying on the moves of almighty i am passive all my way
effort pays off no more, i am dragged whereever the waves let...
Tears have dried up unable to soothe my heart
Dreaming hard for soulder to cry,its harder sobbing all night before the days start....
Thanking her all the day for this mystical way
I creep by myself willing to develop apace...
For the eruption of my longed for happiness
Heart to be sparky and forever grace coated....

you waved me goodbye forever !

 Turning back the pages of my days
where we made out for long
I can hardly withstand to know
That day will never come along
The memories that make me alive still
Where we were together here
At night I hate those stars
The same one which we used to stare
I am here alone with the same place the same roof, the same me, but without your presence
Smiles you took away now tears define me
I can hardly withstand to know
It is the same way,the way I have to be
Your innocence, the last moment I saw your face
With trimbling lips you tried but that was all worthless
My last word they tried moving upto you
But among clouds you hide,to sky you flew
You waved me bye the last goodbye then
Leaving me the fact you'll never be with me again
Hey dear!! Without you for sure I can't be
Your glimpse your voice everywhere everytime I see
You're lost making me believe
you are away forvever from my heart
Hopelessly,
I can hardly withstand to know
You will never be back and your memories will never move apart..!!!